its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
