Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
