So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
from now on my penis is your penis
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Randomize
