I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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