I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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