Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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