Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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