if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
