SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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