I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
