apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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