SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
