Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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