Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
