We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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