At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
