i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
