Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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