dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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