I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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