I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
