watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize