Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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