Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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