In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
