ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
