watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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