The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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