Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
