Betty ford says i'm here all night
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
