I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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