She's JV to your varsity
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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