the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
