Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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