My underwear smells like fireworks.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
