These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
