wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
