he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
