I look better un-naked...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
