I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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