Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
