That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
