you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
