we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
