Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.

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(631): View more from New York

I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.

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(941): View more from Florida

i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head

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(502): View more from Kentucky

He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.

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(913): View more from Kansas

This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.

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(713): View more from Texas

Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.

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