Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
