I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
