You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
