a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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