That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
