Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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