do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
