I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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