i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
