I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
