Kiss
Puke
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
