Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
